


9 a.m. On Thursday

by viciouswishes



Category: House M.D.
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-12-01
Updated: 2005-12-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 17:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3075977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viciouswishes/pseuds/viciouswishes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wilson as pregnant and looking for a differential diagnosis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	9 a.m. On Thursday

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cupiecake](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=cupiecake).



> Setting: Pre-"The Mistake."

When Wilson signs the papers on his and Julie's divorce, he takes his first vacation in six years. This makes House suspicious. He confronts Cuddy about sending Wilson away, but she assures him that Dr. Wilson asked for the time off. Usually, Wilson sleeps off his post-divorce hangovers on House's couch.

Wilson does stop by the day before his flight leaves for the sunny Virgin Islands. House hands him a scotch and they watch ice hokey. Then there's that look in Wilson's eye, the one that says he's going to kiss House.

Not that House minds; Wilson is an excellent kisser. But House hates having orchestrated sex. Which is the only kind one has with a bum leg. Though House's cock disagrees and a used condom lands in House's wastebasket at the end of the night.

Wilson's gone before House wakes. Showers work far better when there's no one to complain that House hogs all the hot water.

However, Wilson isn't tanning long before House starts to miss him. There is no one who wants to sneak off to watch hokey games or someone to ogle Cuddy's breasts with. Frankly, the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital is boring without Wilson. Not even commenting on Chase's bedroom eyes or making Foreman break into people's houses brightens House's day. To make it worse, his patients are boring too. Typical: cancer, tuberculosis, and diabetes complications.

House perfects walking the dog, Buddha's revenge, and the atomic bomb. He's killed all the space monkeys and saved the Princess twice. He almost takes to Cuddy's hints about actually working his clinic hours.

At 9 a.m. on a Thursday, House comes to work, expecting to find Chase doing crossword puzzles, Cameron answering his mail, and Foreman, well being Foreman. But the lounge is empty and the streaks on his whiteboard suggest the Cameron's been playing with his toys.

House checks his pager. It's definitely Thursday; he's never going to be bored enough to come in on his days off. He sighs and thinks about searching the hallways. Instead, he pages Chase.

Chase arrives flushed and hurried. Pencils are already missing from his pocket protector. Something's definitely going on.

"Find somewhere more interesting to hang out?" House says. "Don't tell me, you've found a mysterious wardrobe that leads to a magical land?"

Chase looks straight into House's eyes. "It's nothing." Now, House definitely knows it's something.

"Does this nothing have a name?" House sighs. Thursday is almost Friday, but not close enough, and he imagines beating the answer out of Chase. "What's going on, Dr. Chase?"

"It's Dr. Wilson. He-" Chase pauses. His shoes squeak as he tries to back out the door. "You should see for yourself."

House shakes his head and follows Chase down the hallway. The curtains are pulled closed around one room. One that was definitely unoccupied yesterday. "Did he pick up the clap from some hooker?"

Chase holds the door open for him. "Not exactly."

Both Foreman and Cameron turn and move to the side. House has a clear view of Wilson whose stomach hangs far over his belt. Wilson shrugs at him. "You couldn't send a postcard," House says.

Chase points at Wilson. "Wilson's pregnant."

Wilson rolls his eyes. He looks tired, far more tired than someone who just got back from a tropical resort should, divorce or not. "I'm not pregnant. It's a tumor."

"Could be Pseudocyesis," Cameron suggests. Her diagnose seems sincere instead of a ploy to send House's best friend to the psych ward.

"Except that Wilson just got a divorce, not a visit from a stork." House taps his cane against the metal frame of the bed. "Didn't I see this Grey's Anatomy episode? Any fans? Do I see a twinkle in your eye, Chase? Let me guess, your next guess is a tuberculoma."

"I-" Chase frowns. He runs his hand through his newly highlighted hair.

"Are simply here to bring the pretty," House finishes. Wilson's idea is the most logical one thrown around, and his underlings better have ordered those tests already. Foreman would at least have that much sense.

"If you're done sexual harassing your employees, could we get back to my tumor," Wilson says. He glares at House.

"Well, he has the hormones." House raises an eyebrow. "I assume you've all made at least an elementary effort to figure out what's exactly inside Wilson that shouldn’t be there."

Forman sighs. "We're waiting for the results and were planning on calling you when they were in." He glances at his watch. "You were complaining that all our cases were too normal."

"Yes, because it's my fault that Wilson has a perfectly normal tumor. Okay, not normal, but not very interesting." House takes the clipboard from Cameron. "Why don't you, all of you, see if the results are ready."

House waits, waits until he and Wilson are alone in the room. "Are you telling yourself 'thank you' yet?" House asks. But really, he wants to hit Wilson with his fist, to knock his best friend on the floor. Wilson should've called him instead of telling Foreman, Cameron, and hell, Chase before him.

"Almost." Wilson sighs and lays back. "If I am pregnant, you're the last person I had sex with."


End file.
